FT-60R's emergency feature

This week's 'Weird and Wonderful' section of the Wireless Institute of Australia's news carries this very amusing piece.

A practical example of the Emergency feature on the
FT-60R

After testing the Emergency feature of the FT-60R, a web poster has created the following for your enjoyment.

From the manual:
"Use this feature if you are out on a walk and want a quick way of alerting a family member to a dangerous situation. The alarm sound may discourage an attacker and allow you to escape."

Mr. Ham : "It's a lovely day for a walk."

Attacker : "I'm going to attack you."

Mr. Ham : "Wait right there, Mr. Attacker while I unlock my FT-60R keypad, place it in VFO mode, set the volume to maximum, and hold down the Emergency key shortcut for 2 seconds."

FT-60R: *blink, blink, blink* *beep, beep, beep*

Mr. Ham : "Ah ha! Now Mr. Attacker, my blinking LCD display and DTMF keypad will blind you while the beeping sound will disorient you."

Attacker : "Oh no!"

Mr. Ham : "In 60 seconds, my FT-60R will also send SOS de CALLSIGN via CW on the UHF calling frequency and any amateur radio operator within 1/2 mile who both knows the frequency of and is monitoring the UHF calling frequency will hear *beep, beep* on his radio too.

He will then return home and either retrieve his UHF direction finding go-kit or improvise some from the ARRL Handbook. When he returns and locates my position, he will then call the authorities and inform them of my situation."

Attacker : "I am discouraged."

Thanks Nick! (tongue in cheek)

WIA