5 Sexual Myths Destructive to Your Relationship
by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
In this era where sex seems to be on the mind of everyone and talked
about more openly than ever before, it is surprising that there continues
to be a lot of misinformation and misconceptions. These myths perpetuate
unhealthy patterns of relating, expectations and satisfaction and have
the potential to destroy a relationship.
Don’t allow your relationship to be prey to the following myths:
1. A Good Relationship Shouldn’t Have Any Sex Problems
All couples will probably experience some sexual problems at some point.
This does not mean your relationship is over or not a good one. If the
problems are not addressed and worked out, then your relationship could
be in jeopardy, but the mere existence of problems is not a sign of
failure, it’s a normal part of relationships. Your partner’s
sexual needs may change over time. Stress and major life changes are
an inevitable part of everyone’s life. These kinds of issues can
cause change in levels of desire, satisfaction etc. and will require
periods of adjustment.
2. Size Matters
This simply is not true. In an attempt to make money, the media continues
to keep this destructive myth alive, making men feel inadequate and
self-conscious. They set up expectations that are impossible for a man
to live up to and make them falsely believe that this is what a woman
wants. This is absurd. You do not need a big penis to be an incredible
lover and satisfy your woman. Only the first third of a woman’s
vagina has nerve endings for feeling, the other two thirds has no feeling,
so even a small penis is quite capable of stimulating the first third.
What are most important to a woman is what kind of lover you are, what
kind of person you are, how you feel about her and how you treat her.
Making your woman feel loved, special,
cherished, appreciated and desired will make sex great for her.
3. A Woman Should Orgasm with Intercourse Alone
The majority of women cannot orgasm with intercourse alone, regardless
of how big the penis is, because it does not provide sufficient stimulation
to the clitoris. Many couples struggle needlessly, believing that one
of them is doing something wrong if they are not able to achieve this.
Using positions that stimulate the clitoris during intercourse may work
for some, such as the woman on top or the riding high missionary. You
can also stimulate the clitoris with a finger or a vibrator during intercourse
or give your woman her satisfaction by pleasuring her orally or manually.
4. My Partner Should Know How to Pleasure Me Without My Telling
Them
Your partner is not a mind reader. Lack of communication is one of the
biggest factors in sexual dissatisfaction. Yes, most people know the
basics, but everyone has unique sexual needs that only they are aware
of. You must teach your partner what it is that you need. Don’t
be shy! Be specific and detailed.
5. It Shouldn’t Take Work to Keep Passion Alive
Yes, we would all love to live in the land of fairy tales, but unfortunately
it just does not exist! Once again the media is largely responsible
for promoting an ideal that just isn’t realistic. Relationships
go through cycles and levels of passion will vacillate. In the early
stages of love passion is a blazing inferno that can’t be put out
and doesn’t require any work, but as the relationship progresses,
passion will not stay alive without effort. You must nurture your relationship
to keep passion alive.
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex
advisor/educator and author helping monogamous couples increase
intimacy, be better lovers and keep the passion alive. She is
also author of the hot new sex guide for couples titled, Smoldering
Embers-Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to Light a Couple’s
Fire. Subscribe to her FREE Monthly Ezine, Smoldering Embers,and
get hot sex tips, techniques and secrets. http://www.smolderingembers.com/
or send any email to this address smolderingembers-subscribe@topica.com
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