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Red Rover, Red Rover, There's Conjecture All Over

No sooner did the two Mars Rovers plop down on the Red Planet in January and begin relaying pictures back to Earth than the conspiracy theories started to fly and people were seeing strange objects in the Martian sand. It's almost as if the country is divided into two camps: those who vehemently deny that the rovers are actually on Mars, and those who see something damn odd in those NASA photographs.

The first group, the conspiracy theorists, point to evidence that suggests the whole mission was staged and what we've really been seeing are nothing more than high-resolution postcards from a desert here on our own planet. This is certainly nothing new, and such theories have been postulated about every space mission undertaken by NASA. Everyone has heard that the moon landings of the late '60s and early '70s were cleverly staged hoaxes, perpetrated by the U.S. government in a desperate attempt to outdo the Soviets. We couldn't win the space race legitimately, so we cheated—or so the theorists would have you believe.

As all good conspiracy theories go, there is plenty of "proof" to be found indicating that the Feds are, once again, putting one over on us. One of the more common points used to illustrate a cover-up is the allusion that the colors of the photos have been digitally altered by NASA to make them "redder" for our benefit, with the originals being substantially more Earth-like in tone and appearance (see http://www.xfacts.com/spirit2004).

While a fantastic notion like faking the moon landings seems slightly more plausible because of the reality of the Cold War, there doesn't seem to be much to gain here other than a rally for further space exploration. When an $825 million mission fails, NASA takes a big hit. But when the mission is a success and we can virtually explore a planet 35 million miles away from the comfort of our armchairs, additional funding is more likely. Could we really be the victims of a massive PR job? It's just enough to give you pause, and that's what makes conspiracy theories so much fun.

The second group of people is those who have no trouble believing that we possess the technology to put the rovers on Mars, but they simply won't concede that the odd-shaped item they see in the sand isn't a letter of the alphabet, or a fossil, or an alien bone, or something that shouldn't be there in the first place. Once again, this is nothing new. The brain tends to form random noise into recognizable patterns, which is why some people see Jesus in their oatmeal or a puppy dog in a cloud formation. If the images we're seeing are of another planet (especially Mars, home of little green men and flying saucers), then there is all the more reason for us to pick out terrestrial objects among the dirt and rocks. We desperately want to believe that we're not alone out there, so we see things to support the concept that there are indeed signs of intelligent life outside of Earth.

Ever since the first photos were released, NASA has been inundated with calls and e-mails from people asking, "What the heck is that?" The same thing happened during the Mars Pathfinder mission in 1997, and the same thing is sure to happen on future missions to Mars or any other planet. People will always see something.

Perhaps the most popular Mars "sighting" is the bunny. One panoramic photo of the Martian landscape shows nothing but brownish sand and a few rock outcroppings. But there, not far from a rover, is a rather strange object that looks a lot like the Playboy bunny logo! While most people would probably discount it as nothing more than a trick of the light, shadows forming images that are more familiar to us (well, to us men, anyway), there are those who would have you think that the Martians are alive and well and worshippers of Hugh Hefner. The official NASA line on the bunny is that it's most likely a piece of the rover's yellow airbag, which kept it safe from harm during its landing process. This explanation makes sense, because the object is obviously made of a lightweight material that can be moved by the wind. Images taken a few minutes apart show the bunny's "ears" in slightly different positions. So either it is a piece of the airbag, or perhaps some alien was poking his head up and surveying the situation with his antennae. Or maybe it's neither, and the rover has chanced to find something truly remarkable. You be the judge. The NASA image can be seen at http://marsrovers. jpl.nasa.gov/spotlight/opportunity/b19_20040304.html.

So there you have it. We sent the rovers to Mars, or we didn't. And if we did, then the pictures definitely show something unusual. Or maybe they don't.

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Rob Lee is the editor and publisher of WeirdZine, a lighthearted look at ghosts, unexplained phenomenon, and other strange stuff. Free subscriptions can be had at http://www.zinespace.com/weirdzine.

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